Coping With Change
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Your goal as a caregiver is to help your loved one maintain as much independence as circumstances permit.
Inevitably though, your elder’s abilities will deteriorate. You and your family members may have to help your
loved one give up important activities, such as driving and make major lifestyle changes, such as moving to a
relative’s home or a senior care facility. Everyone involved will need to approach these matters with patience
and understanding.
Your Emotions
You may experience anxiety, anger, guilt and even fear about making decisions that affect your loved one. These
feelings may be compounded by disagreement or tension among other family members — and resistance from your elder.
Your Elder’s Reaction
The issues involved with aging are deeply personal. Despite your best efforts to avoid confrontation, your elder
may become emotional, defensive or angry and even lash out at you for forcing change upon them.
Handling Resistance
Understand that negative reactions are to be expected and should be addressed with patience and consideration.
Remember the factors that led you, your elder and other family members to a particular solution and remind
yourself of the reasons change was necessary. If disagreements become unmanageable, consider the following:
- Talk with a trusted friend or other individual who can provide you with personal support.
- Ask an individual your elder respects to speak with your elder about the need for change.
- Carry out an intervention if your elder’s resistance continues. At separate times, family members,
a respected clergy member, a nurse or physician and anyone else your elder respects should spend time
talking with your elder. Firmly but with compassion, each individual should attempt to overcome your
elder’s denial.
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Updated Thursday, April 01, 2010
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