Select a time when you will not be interrupted and everyone is relaxed.
Wait for openings. Discussing an upcoming medical appointment, for example, can lead to further conversation.
Consider giving your elder a list of questions in advance. Then schedule time to talk about each point.
Do not feel pressured to discuss everything at once. If your elder clearly wants to avoid a subject, try another approach later.

Discuss Key Topics

You, your elder and other family members should discuss the following topics as appropriate for your loved one’s situation.

Topic	What To Ask
Preferences/Concerns	What is your biggest concern for the future? How do you feel about the possibility of leaving your home? What level of care would you prefer and could you afford should it become necessary? What are your preferences in the event of a medical emergency?
Home	Should you become incapacitated or need regular help, do you want to stay in your home? Would you consider a nursing home, assisted living or moving in with a relative?
Everyday Activities	Do you need help with household chores, such as cleaning, preparing meals or maintaining the house and yard? Does poor hearing or eyesight interfere with activities such as answering the telephone or the doorbell?
Transportation	Is driving becoming difficult or stressful? Do you have difficulty driving at night? Do you have access to reliable transportation for medical appointments, grocery shopping, religious services and visiting with family and friends?
Health	What is your physical condition? What prescriptions are you taking and are they current? Do you need help remembering what pills to take and when to take them? When was your last medical appointment and did the physician review your medications?
Health Care Provisions	What kind of health or long-term care insurance do you have? Does it provide adequate coverage for needed medical visits and prescriptions?
Finances	Do you need help with current expenses? If so, have you looked into supplemental financial sources? Do you have a will, living will, trust, power of attorney and durable power of attorney for health care? Is your financial information available and located in a secure location (safe deposit box or attorney’s office)?
Fraud Protection	Have you received unsolicited offers from strangers? Have you been asked to give money, property or confidential personal information to strangers posing as legitimate business representatives? Note: Elders are often targeted for fraud and may avoid reporting a scam for fear of losing their independence. Make sure your loved one understands how to identify and report fraud.

The USAA Educational Foundation publications, Estate Planning and Identity Theft, offer more information.

Record Important Information

A sudden illness or emergency could require you to provide your loved one’s medical information to a physician or health care provider. Gather important information using the Important Information form. Remember to review and update the form every three to six months.

This information is confidential and can be misused in the wrong hands. Keep original documents where you can easily locate them. An attorney’s office or other secure location away from your residence is a better choice than a safe deposit box at your financial institution, which in many states is sealed upon the death of the owner.

Next: Choosing Living Arrangements

Updated Thursday, April 01, 2010

HELPFUL FORMS & LISTS

Important Information

Assessing Capabilities Checklist